Yarpquagfot is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered faun.

Yarpquagfot created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpquagfot, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarpquagfot, he will destroy your home solar system.

Yarpquagfot's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Yarpquagfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must never eat coconuts.