Vanlikkom is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless parrot.

Vanlikkom created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vanlikkom, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vanlikkom, he will destroy your home planet.

Vanlikkom's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Vanlikkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Vanlikkom on top of all buildings.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Always look after injured seals.