Lapbugkom is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, slow badger.

Lapbugkom created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapbugkom, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lapbugkom, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Lapbugkom's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Lapbugkom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Do not take Lapbugkom's name in vain.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.