Jiptaddut is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, wise gnu.

Jiptaddut created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jiptaddut, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jiptaddut, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jiptaddut's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Jiptaddut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never wear black kilts.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat bark.