Nibfomgen is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, strong human.

Nibfomgen created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibfomgen, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nibfomgen, it will turn you into a tree.

Nibfomgen's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Nibfomgen's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are not to be trusted.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never laugh in holy places.