Liglanquillbat is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, humorless lizard.

Liglanquillbat created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Liglanquillbat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Liglanquillbat, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Liglanquillbat's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Liglanquillbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Retreat if eight birds approach from the west.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.