Fumfom is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omnipotent goose.

Fumfom created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumfom, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fumfom, it will turn you into a dog.

Fumfom's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fumfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. You must love Fumfom.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Seals are not to be trusted.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.