Flapominmil is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, moody hyena.

Flapominmil created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapominmil, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flapominmil, she will think nothing of it.

Flapominmil's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Flapominmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Flapominmil must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away if six great tits approach from the east.