Ripbamwonpig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, all-powerful badger.

Ripbamwonpig created the planet Jupiter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ripbamwonpig, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ripbamwonpig, she will turn you into a dog.

Ripbamwonpig's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ripbamwonpig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick aardvarks.

2. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Ripbamwonpig on top of important buildings.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Do not dye your hair green.