Cisshudzenlarppom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, astonishing dragonfly.

Cisshudzenlarppom created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cisshudzenlarppom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cisshudzenlarppom, he will torture you forever.

Cisshudzenlarppom's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Cisshudzenlarppom's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always obey Cisshudzenlarppom's priests.

3. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

4. You must love Cisshudzenlarppom.

5. Never mention pigs.