Fotcamrut is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, staggering bat.

Fotcamrut created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotcamrut, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fotcamrut, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fotcamrut's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Fotcamrut's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven great tits approach from the west.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never eat bark.