Watcip is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, happy snake.

Watcip created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Watcip, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Watcip, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Watcip's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Watcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always treat turtles with great respect.