Damnulvid is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, smart guinea pig.

Damnulvid created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Damnulvid, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Damnulvid, it will cry a lot.

Damnulvid's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Damnulvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Run away if nine snails approach from the north.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not sit in public.