Vonkfumged is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, tranquil wolf.

Vonkfumged created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfumged, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vonkfumged, she will boil you in a big pot.

Vonkfumged's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Vonkfumged's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never go into orange rooms.