Figtipxentenhit is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, omniscient spider.

Figtipxentenhit created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figtipxentenhit, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Figtipxentenhit, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Figtipxentenhit's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Figtipxentenhit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat pineapples.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always help sick shrews.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.