Gudhandib is a god.

It takes the form of a small, duplicitous squirrel.

Gudhandib created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudhandib, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gudhandib, it will turn you into a hamster.

Gudhandib's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Gudhandib's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gudhandib.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gudhandib.