Haktenfen is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, effective tortoise.

Haktenfen created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Haktenfen, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Haktenfen, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Haktenfen's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Haktenfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.