Hamzimjip is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, awe-inspiring jaguar.

Hamzimjip created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamzimjip, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hamzimjip, she will turn you into a mole.

Hamzimjip's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Hamzimjip's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Never wear hats.

4. Hamzimjip loves swans, so they must be respected.

5. Never write about amino acids.