Jablatbuggudbid Gunbepsid Tamdidfen is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered monkey.

Jablatbuggudbid Gunbepsid Tamdidfen created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jablatbuggudbid Gunbepsid Tamdidfen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jablatbuggudbid Gunbepsid Tamdidfen, she will make you grow a tail.

Jablatbuggudbid Gunbepsid Tamdidfen's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Jablatbuggudbid Gunbepsid Tamdidfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Hide if eight dolphins approach from the east.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never mention grasshopers.

5. Never write about nebulae.