Catsasloop is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, cheerful alligator.

Catsasloop created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catsasloop, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Catsasloop, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Catsasloop's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Catsasloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Do not drink alcohol.