Flapcanhanbuscubgomzak is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, passionate fly.

Flapcanhanbuscubgomzak created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapcanhanbuscubgomzak, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flapcanhanbuscubgomzak, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Flapcanhanbuscubgomzak's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Flapcanhanbuscubgomzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Worship no other gods but Flapcanhanbuscubgomzak.

5. Do not bounce in public.