Fityarlbem is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, staggering zebra.

Fityarlbem created the Sun four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fityarlbem, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fityarlbem, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fityarlbem's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Fityarlbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Always treat frogs with great respect.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.