Zanarpmet is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unthinking mink.

Zanarpmet created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanarpmet, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zanarpmet, she will jump up and down on your head.

Zanarpmet's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Zanarpmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to goats while wearing brown tights.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Never hurt seals.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not kill snails.