Cetnangig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unjust unicorn.

Cetnangig created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetnangig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cetnangig, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cetnangig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Cetnangig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.