Larprowdog is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, amazing dove.

Larprowdog created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larprowdog, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Larprowdog, he will destroy your home planet.

Larprowdog's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Larprowdog's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Larprowdog.

2. Run away if four cats approach from the west.

3. Do not dye your hair violet.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not shave your hands.