Kimlaklid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unjust pigeon.

Kimlaklid created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimlaklid, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kimlaklid, it will think nothing of it.

Kimlaklid's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Kimlaklid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about cell theory.