Cibbumxem is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, loving wombat.

Cibbumxem created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cibbumxem, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cibbumxem, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Cibbumxem's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cibbumxem's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Erect six silver sculptures of Cibbumxem on top of important buildings.

4. Put Cibbumxem first in all things.

5. Cibbumxem loves frogs, so they must be respected.