Fenmumcin is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, compassionate horse.

Fenmumcin created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenmumcin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fenmumcin, he will turn you into a duck.

Fenmumcin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Fenmumcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not drink water in blue rooms.