Kampakbin is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, passionate parrot.

Kampakbin created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Kampakbin, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kampakbin, it will turn you into a tree.

Kampakbin's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Kampakbin's Holy Commandments

1. Kampakbin loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Rats are not to be trusted.

5. Run away from mauve aardvarks, for they are unholy.