Vagmatloptap is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, tiresome coyote.

Vagmatloptap created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagmatloptap, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vagmatloptap, he will turn you into a goat.

Vagmatloptap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Vagmatloptap's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat onions.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not kill grasshopers.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.