Bonkfetcep is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, witless owl.

Bonkfetcep created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkfetcep, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bonkfetcep, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bonkfetcep's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bonkfetcep's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.