Hakbogflab is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unfair porpoise.

Hakbogflab created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakbogflab, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hakbogflab, it will be very unhappy.

Hakbogflab's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Hakbogflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt turtles.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Always help snakes in need.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.