Dudquartladtif is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonest bee.

Dudquartladtif created silver two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudquartladtif, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dudquartladtif, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dudquartladtif's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dudquartladtif's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dudquartladtif.