Sadsomveen is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, merciful wolf.

Sadsomveen created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sadsomveen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sadsomveen, he will turn you into a rock.

Sadsomveen's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Sadsomveen's Holy Commandments

1. Sadsomveen loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Run away from cyan goats, for they are unholy.