Hatcepstip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, ill-tempered wolf.

Hatcepstip created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatcepstip, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hatcepstip, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Hatcepstip's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Hatcepstip's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.