Talmanbig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, narcissistic dingo.

Talmanbig created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Talmanbig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Talmanbig, he will turn you into a mouse.

Talmanbig's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Talmanbig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Talmanbig on top of all buildings.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never feed turnips to frogs while wearing orange ear rings.

5. Never hurt otters.