Kanquamwon is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous hydra.

Kanquamwon created silver two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanquamwon, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kanquamwon, she will destroy your home solar system.

Kanquamwon's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Kanquamwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Put Kanquamwon first in all things.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.