Ditvankik Fedfetfud is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, emotional finch.

Ditvankik Fedfetfud created silver four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditvankik Fedfetfud, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ditvankik Fedfetfud, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Ditvankik Fedfetfud's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Ditvankik Fedfetfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt manatees.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ditvankik Fedfetfud.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never eat green fruit.