Loopquafdub is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, amazing hedgehog.

Loopquafdub created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopquafdub, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Loopquafdub, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Loopquafdub's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Loopquafdub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never think ill of sick snails.

5. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.