Lappogbam is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, caring rhinoceros.

Lappogbam created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lappogbam, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lappogbam, she will turn you into a rock.

Lappogbam's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Lappogbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always help tortoises.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never hurt mites.