Jopgomlapgof is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain monkey.

Jopgomlapgof created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopgomlapgof, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jopgomlapgof, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jopgomlapgof's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Jopgomlapgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never paint your hands red.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.