Dapfitfon Donhaprull is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-assured whale.

Dapfitfon Donhaprull created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapfitfon Donhaprull, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dapfitfon Donhaprull, he will not care at all.

Dapfitfon Donhaprull's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Dapfitfon Donhaprull's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never sing in the presence of hamsters.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dapfitfon Donhaprull.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.