Art is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, fussy elephant.

Art created the solar system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Art, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Art, he will not invite you to parties.

Art's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Art's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not eat carrots.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never bounce near grasshopers.