Ontfentofnurl is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, smart lobster.

Ontfentofnurl created the Sun four years ago.

If you believe in Ontfentofnurl, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ontfentofnurl, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Ontfentofnurl's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Ontfentofnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

2. Always obey Ontfentofnurl's priests.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Feed all hungry manatees.