Dimfembimjin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, staggering spider.

Dimfembimjin created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimfembimjin, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dimfembimjin, she will turn you into a mole.

Dimfembimjin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dimfembimjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Run away if three moths approach from the north.

3. Do not hurt pigs.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about black holes.