Tonflanzantaglam Jigdissven is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, almighty grasshopper.

Tonflanzantaglam Jigdissven created the Sunflower Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonflanzantaglam Jigdissven, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tonflanzantaglam Jigdissven, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tonflanzantaglam Jigdissven's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Tonflanzantaglam Jigdissven's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tonflanzantaglam Jigdissven.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never sing near monkeys.