Govlidkaptam is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ruthless eagle.

Govlidkaptam created the planet Venus six billion years ago.

If you believe in Govlidkaptam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Govlidkaptam, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Govlidkaptam's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Govlidkaptam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about nuts.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

4. Run away from violet badgers, for they are unholy.

5. Whales are not to be trusted.