Femhomget Sawcamyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, two-faced wolf.

Femhomget Sawcamyarl created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femhomget Sawcamyarl, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Femhomget Sawcamyarl, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Femhomget Sawcamyarl's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Femhomget Sawcamyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not kill whales.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

4. Erect nine lead sculptures of Femhomget Sawcamyarl on top of important buildings.

5. Never feed lentils to mice while wearing green trousers.