Yatquillyak is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, omniscient giraffe.

Yatquillyak created the Sunflower Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatquillyak, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yatquillyak, he will torture you forever.

Yatquillyak's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yatquillyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.