Kemstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, smart cow.

Kemstaf created light nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemstaf, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kemstaf, she will turn you into a mouse.

Kemstaf's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Kemstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.